Mr. Stephen’s #Top10: Teaching Through Heartbreak
For some people, romantic relationships come and go with no problem. They stay friends with their exes and move on after a couple of ice-cream nights with friends. I’m not one of those people. I’ve been in love twice, and while both breakups were bad, the second one was FAR worse. I lost all control of my thoughts and emotions. The therapist thought I was crazy (which I might be), and my staff had to witness Mr. Stephen stripped of all power. BUT I’m back, haters! And I’m here to tell you how I STILL ran the best program EVEN at the lowest point of my life. Here’s my #TOP10 tips for teaching through heartbreak! Let’s Get it Poppin’! You can find this #Top10 list on www.MrStephenOfficial.weebly.com 1. Prepare yourself! This is probably everything that most teachers DON’T want to hear --but the key to making it through a rough time at work is not a magical potion; it’s preparation! Setting up your program as a Special Education Teacher is crazy! It’s literally like building a business from the ground up all on your own. SO my advice is to take action when you’re healthy and abled! If you’re a new teacher, then now’s a great time! If you’re not a new teacher, but you’re unhappy with the way things are going for you, it’s NEVER too late to start over. Work late nights for a few months. Figure out what you’re going to teach, how you’re going to teach it, where you’ll get your curriculum, how you’ll set up the classroom to best serve yourself and your students. Those late nights don’t have to last forever. If you use the time wisely, the late nights will set you up for shorter days and less stress in the future. 2. Create easy-to-maintain systems! I tell EVERYONE that the biggest secret to my success is the power of organization and SYSTEMS! There should be a system for everything! A step-by-step way of doing things. Each item should have a place in your classroom. You should create a commonly understood process to follow for each activity. All staff should know the expectations you have for them, and all students should understand the fundamental responsibilities and procedures of the classroom. Curriculum should be well organized and easy to manage, workbooks, homework, IEP data sheets, etc. should all have a place in the room that is accessible to you and to your staff and students. 3. Train your staff! It is one thing for you to know what your systems are, but in the event of a catastrophe (such as heartbreak), you might not be capable of implementing anything on your own! This would definitely NOT be the time to start training your staff. Train your staff to know what you know and to do what you do. It was AMAZING to see what my staff was able to do when I cried uncontrollably at my desk for a month. They knew the systems, and they followed them with confidence. 4. Model expectations! Telling someone what to do or how to do it is one thing --and it’s an important thing! Communication is KEY! However, it’s not enough. If you want to be a good leader, you have to DO what you EXPECT! SHOW your staff what you’d like them to accomplish by accomplishing it yourself in front of them. This will give them a better understanding of what you’d like to happen, and they will respect your willingness to do the work that you ask of them. 5. Build relationships with your STAFF! You are not the boss, you were never the boss, you will never be the boss. It’s the most annoying thing when teachers think they are SO royal. Like, calm down. The moment you feel that you are ABOVE your staff, you will burn the MOST important bridges and you might never be able to rebuild them. NO ONE is more important than your Paraprofessionals/Class Aides. Many teachers LOVE to kiss the butts of the “higher-ups” or even the other teachers, which only makes them seem pathetic, but the people you should be nice to are the people in your classroom, on your team. These are the people who will be there on the mornings when you are barely holding yourself together, who will cover for you when you can’t stand up to teach, who will make sure you eat something in the middle of your crying spells. They are the people who will operate your machine when you are unable to do so. TREAT THEM WELL! 6. Acknowledge the problem! A closed mouth doesn’t get fed, guys! You have to be strong enough to acknowledge that you have a problem! And if you’ve followed steps 1-5, you should have no problem setting your team up for continued success while you deal with your inner demons. 7. Be strong when possible! You definitely can’t show up to work and do absolutely nothing. I mean, one to five days of this is okay, but any more than that is just irresponsible. If you’re that broken, you should take a leave of absence. If you choose to be at work you should pick your battles, delegate tasks, and be as present as you can possibly be throughout the day. 8. It’s okay to be weak! There will definitely be moments of weakness! But trust me, there are less and less as time goes on. It does get better! Don’t over-do it trying to act strong. A hero knows when to back down and regroup. Allow yourself to fall apart if you need to. Self-care is SO MUCH more important than an IEP or a math activity. 9. Keep your priorities straight! Spend time each day making priority lists. Things that you NEED to do regardless of whether or not you’re okay on the inside can be done during your strong moments, and everything else can be done if you get around to it. This will ensure that you are not falling behind on anything that is essential. 10. Do NOT feel bad about what you’re going through! You can’t let yourself feel bad. You are a human being. Teaching is about doing what you love and helping others, but you can’t love what you do or help anyone if you are ashamed to love or help yourself.
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May 2020
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